OVERCOMING THE NUMEROUS PEER PR3SSURES,
We love to see our children grow comforming to our teachings and family values making them standout in the larger society as examples unto others.
Every parent loves to see this happening but dread the stage in life when it seems the children we loved and care for would no longer want to listen to us first but would rather consider the opinions of their peers above everyone things we want them to do and value.
The growing adolescent age can be a nightmare for any loving parent particularly when your choices for the children is being overide by pressure to BELONG and conform to peers.
That stage when they want to flow with the tides ( especially when it involves lots of negativity) rather than swim against such.
Even the teens themselves do not find things easy at this stage, particularly those you've given the right moral values right from inception. A teen finds himself or herself between making the choice of, tagging along with friends or be seen as being the odd one out and being the the parents' favourite,obedient and respectful girl or boy.
This means pressure from peers is a powerful force which need to be dealt with before it turns our choices into gangmire making a mess of a good situation.
Before Any good decision for solution must come,we need first to know what is it we are really against by answering the question;
What is peer pressure?
PEERS;
Everyone has peers. Peers can be your friends who are about your age and have similar interests and experiences. Peers can also be other kids who are about your age and are involved in the same activities with you or are part of a community or group you belong to. You may not consider all of your peers to be friends, but they can all influence you.
Haven seen what peers are, then next is ;
Peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual. This can result in either a positive or negative effect, or both -Wikipedia
Peer pressure can be positive or negative ( sometimes even neutral) When peer pressure is positive, it pushes teens to be your best they can be.
Negative peer pressure is when someone who is a friend or part of a group you belong to makes you feel that you have to do something to be accepted. It’s the negative peer pressure that we usually think of when the phrase peer pressure is used.
When teens give into negative peer pressure, they often feel guilty or disappointed with themselves for acting in a way that goes against their parents' or personal beliefs or values.
Some examples of negative peer pressure are:
• Needing to dress or act a certain way modelling a celebrate or Star they see as a role model of a sort, making them go all our of their resource to get such done.
Some examples of negative peer pressure are:
• Needing to dress or act a certain way modelling a celebrate or Star they see as a role model of a sort, making them go all our of their resource to get such done.
• Cheating or copying someone else’s work or letting others copy your work during exams,tests or assignments. (Afterral who would like to fail when she or he doesn't study?)
• Not including certain people in social activities,a calculated attempt to isolate an individual.
• Taking dangerous risks when driving
• Using drugs or alcohol with the aim of being bold enough to face the odds of life
• Shoplifting or stealing.as to proof to the group that you are tough or the main man or to satisfy assumed needs
• Engaging in sexual activity such as sexting and introduction to the LGBTQ community
• Engaging in bullying or cyberbullying which can lead to depression and suicidal tendencies of the victims.
• Projecting a misleading/false image on social media. Some would love to display nudity or drugs
Facing the attendant challeges that comes with negative pressure needs skills and consistent trainings from the individual and possibly from the parents where need be.
Strategies to Handle Peer Pressure
Dealing With Peer Pressure
Every parent wants his or her children to have meaningful and healthy relationships both in personal and work settings throughout their lives.
Parents prepare children for this when they are loving, supportive and have open communication in the homes. But adolescence is when teens expand their relationships beyond the homes. And this is a critical developmental step towards becoming an independent adult.
Parents play an important role in preparing teens with the social skills needed to make their own smart choices and avoid peer pressure.
There are endless skills for teens to develop with their peers. Skills that are needed to work effectively with people, have meaningful friendships, and healthy romantic and family relationships in the future.
While peers become increasingly important during adolescence, parents continue to play a vital role. Part of that role involves helping teens successfully navigate increasingly complex social situations.
This includes teaching them to say “No” effectively — stating their position clearly, standing their ground, while still maintaining a relationships.
As much as we may wish that we could teach our kids to say “No!” to friends who engage in behavior we don’t like, that isn’t always realistic. Some young people choose to maintain friendships at the expense of their values.and this gives concern.
Part of raising teens includes helping them develop the skills to be clear about their values, while still interacting with people who may have differing ones
What strategies can help handle negative peer pressure?
Resisting all appearances of evil is a step in the right direction.
• Excuse yourself out of being engaged in such a negative or absurd activity that others may be involved with
• Say No; yes, just say No, its is as easy as that. Let your yes be yes(when its positive pressure) and your No,no (when situation is negative).You can never be arrested for not saying yes to a group.
• Ignore the urge to want to belong and be identified as being a member of a group.Do not give attention to vices.
• Speak out against all evils. Be a voice to the voiceless. Stand for waht is right. Speak truth to such negative authorities. Speak against the bullies and negative influencers.
• 'Thank you", this is a powerful magical phrase, which no one can resist its power. Thank the negative influencer appreciating the fact that such had considered you worthy, but that you would rather get engaged in something more profitable than be doing such a such with them.(group).
For The Teen;let them know...
Pay attention to how you feel. If something doesn’t feel right about a situation, it probably isn’t. Even if your friends seem ok with what is going on, the situation may not be right for you.
In addition to the skills listed earlier other useful ones are thus outlined;
Never be caught up in an unexpected situation off your guard. Always be prepared.
Plan ahead. Think about how you will respond in different situations. Plan what you can say or what you can do.
Talk to the person who is pressuring, let him or her know how it makes you feel and tell the person to stop.
Have a Code; Have a secret code to communicate with parents. Something you can say or text to your parent(s) that lets them know you need out of a situation. Parents can either call or text to say that you need to come home, or that they need to pick you up or give advise as to how to handle the present situation.
Give an excuse. It should be ok to say “no” as earlier discussed, without needing to apologize or give an explanation. But it may make it easier to say no if you have a ready reason. You can just give good reasons like having undo assignments or chores to take care of...
Keep good clicks ,
Nothing wrong with having your own positive vibes clicks.Have friends with similar values and beliefs. It is easier to say “no” if someone else is also saying it. Saying “no” together makes it easier for the both of you.
How to Scale Over Peer Pressure
Know what you want in life
As you grow up and interact with your parents, caregivers, teachers etc. You get to learn and differentiate right from wrong. There are a lot of lessons you learn from your environment, community and other channels like TV’s that help you to distinguish right and harmful habits. All this knowledge should be a means to assist in deciding what you want to achieve in life and the path to follow.
Choose your friends
Birds of a plumage flock together. This is a wise saying.It’s often said friendship is by choice not by force. After determining your path, you need to assess the kind of friends to associate with. Choose those who are of like minds, taste, values,believes,interests and where need be, same faith as you are. Never be unequally yoked together.
Your words should match with your actions. Be of a strong principle. Be affirmative at all times irrespective of whose ox is gog
Keep off places that are likely to influence you negatively, if you don’t want to be a drug addict don’t spend your free time with drug dealers and addicts.
If you find yourself in a situation where your immediate response is expected, for example, ‘taking bribes’, your stand should be firm, probably just saying a ‘no’ may not be convincing enough, and so your answer could be ‘I can never get involved in bribery’ which sounds more strong and affirmative.
Examples;
• If you're still in school, be weary of going to parties without adult supervision or meeting up with people you know do drugs.
• Trust your instinct. If something feels "off," don't hesitate to make other plans. If you start to feel uncomfortable during a party, don't be afraid to leave.
Differentiate positive from negative pressure
Peer pressure can have either a positive or negative effect. For example a trending hairstyle like ‘Short Bob Hairstyles,’ can influence pressure on ladies to look uniform at the same time classic.
Hence, having a positive effect. On the other hand some peer pressure have negative effects, for example getting entangled in a relationship that would lead to extramarital activities isn't convenient and should be avoided like a plague.
You don’t need to wait for an odd situation to declare your stand, keep declaring your position on matters that influence others negatively. It builds the capacity to fight off such vices even before they ever present themselves. It also keeps away people who are contrary to your values hence helping you maintain the right kind of friends that uphold similar values with you.
Keep busy with healthy activities.
Another way to avoid peer pressure is to spend your time doing activities that you really enjoy. Doing activities can help you meet other people with shared interests and help you spend your time doing what you enjoy.
Get involved in the church like being in the choir
Volunteering to work as an intern during vacations.
Helping to baby sit your younger ones.
Learning a trade or being engaged in skill acquisition can be a very useful preoccupation of the minds away from negative vices and allurements from peers.
Going on evangelism or a religious engagement as the case maybe
Getting involved with study groups in school.or engaged with club activities( extra-curricular activities)
In conclusion; handling and overcoming pressure isn't a day's job. Parents assistance is highly in need and counselling need to be sort for.
for safety, in situation where things have gone out of hands, therapy might need to be sought.
It is the joy all of patents to see their children doing well and such becoming an example for others to emulate. Standing oir from the crowd gives honour and makes one to stand out before Kings and not just mere men.
It is the joy all of patents to see their children doing well and such becoming an example for others to emulate. Standing oir from the crowd gives honour and makes one to stand out before Kings and not just mere men.
Be deligent and of good courage.
Pressures can be surmounted and overcome and your case won't be an exception.
Ayo-Ben-Niji
Citadel Project
@ayobeniji4j
Additional resources for further reads;
References:
https://www.fcps.edu/node/33210
https://www.fcps.edu/resources/student-safety-and-wellness/mental-health-resources-and-emergency-services-information
https://thriveglobal.com/
Amanda Prahl
A playwright, lyricist, dramaturg, teacher, and freelancer, Amanda loves all things pop culture and has strong opinions about coffee, Broadway, and Oxford commas
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