What is masturbation?
Masturbation is self-stimulating your genitals in a sexual way to the point of reaching an orgasm.
Is masturbation bad as an act for me as a person?
A question you may need to asnwer at the end of this read.
It is a very common behaviour among men and women and is a very normal part of growing up for children of both sexes.
Most children play with their genitals between the ages of two and six. To a grown-up person, the sight of children fondling their own genitals can feel disturbing because he/she looks at the act through adult filters. However, this act is a very normal part of growing up for every child, as it is a process of self-exploring their own bodies and discovering how each part of their body responds to touch, and how some parts are more pleasurable than others. To a child rubbing his/her genitals simply feels innocently pleasurable.
These adults react to the child in the same way that they saw their own parents or grown-ups around them react, while they were exploring their own bodies as children. Therefore, they continue to carry those feelings of shame and never got a chance to get comfortable with their own sexuality.
The act in itself is not “good” or “bad”, though in some cases, religious beliefs may induce people to label it as “bad”.
The crucial factor in such a scenario would be how an adult approaches a child and makes the child feel comfortable with his/her own body and gently explains the propriety side of it, should the child indulge in the act in front of people, but without shaming the child.
Sexual development is a very much an essential part of normal growth and development for a child, just as physical development, emotional development, learning and developing language and communication skills are normal.
Haven said that, what also needs to be stated is, even though there is a general school of thought which accept that; nothing is wrong with masturbation, but it is also okay not to masturbate.
Some people have naturally lower levels of sexual desire or may decide that they want to abstain from masturbation for religious or personal reasons. You can follow whatever option you feel is best for you. Abstinecebis stil very much a great virtue to be encouraged to be adapted. Avoid that which may lead to challeges much later in life.
As we've learnt in some of our previous posts here, the children need to know and also be taught to choose abstinence above all others.
Is masturbation a common behaviour?
Experts and researchers in sexuality agree that masturbation is a completely normal process for human beings and tonthem it is seen as a healthy sexual behaviour. They say it probably has a bad reputation because it is an intensely private sexual behavior, which no one discusses even with the closest of friends.
It must also he recognised that those who engage in this mostly end up needing help as we shall see later as we read along.
Is masturbation harmful?
No. From a health science perspective, masturbation is not at all harmful for humans Some people think masturbation is bad for moral reasons, however, that is a personal choice. Same way smokers see nothing wrong with what they do not porn actors se what they do as a job. What they think are personal, same way for you that see masturbatiin as a no go area. The problem isn't in the start of ot but how to out an wnd to ot once hooked on it negatively.
It is worthy of note however to know that psychologically it can have a great deal of effect on the mind and emotion of the person who experiences this and in particular a teenager who most of all needs to he free from pressures of exploring the feelings of sexuality adolescence present to them.
Is it healthy for a person to masturbate daily or at all?
. As long as masturbating does not affect your overall energy levels, and does not encroach on your daily life and activities, you should be fine, but where the problem lies is,humans hardly have what it takes to stop this act once they get hooked on such.p This is just like the taking of drugs or engaging in porns.
Though, few sex experts consider masturbating daily to be excessive. Masturbating daily can lead to weakness, fatigue, early ejaculation for married men.
On the other hand, missing out on regular orgasms increases stress levels and can add to mental health issues, frustration, and unhappiness in general.
How many times in a week is masturbation considered normal for a man?
Sexual drive is natural, however, an excess of anything is harmful. Therefore, rather than increasing the frequency of masturbation you can consider diverting your energy to things such as sports, or any other hobbies. This ensures that you live a balanced, healthy and happy life.
Can masturbation replace having sex with a partner for men?
There are valid times though when masturbation can replace sex, for example:
- if the partner’s sex drive is lower than yours then masturbation is an option (but with mutual consent from the couole. Must not be done in isolation )
- if the partner is sick
- if your partner (onoy fir the married);is pregnant
Can masturbation cause premature ejaculation?
Teens experience wetdream which is a part of growth process. Going to the extend of ejaculating through self arousal can be another bal hane entirely.
For those married, Excessive masturbation may cause damage to the nerves that allow for the ejaculation. This can cause premature ejaculation or even an ejaculation during sleep.
With this at the back of the mind, the question is , why start on a thing that you know you may nt ultimately have total control over afterwards of eventually it goes out of hands?
Like I always tell my teens, never start waht you cant finish. And also , never get engaged in a thing which you won't be proud enough to want to freely discuss with me or any of your parents?
When is masturbation not safe for men?
Out there, it is thought that. Masturbation is generally safe. However, if it is done excessively and aggressively then it can be harmful.
- When you touch the genitals of an infected person and then touch yours you may suffer from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). STIs can also occur if you share your sex toys with an infected person.
- If you masturbate in a face-down position you tend to exert more pressure on the penis, and you may injure it. To avoid this you can masturbate while standing, sitting, or lying on the back.
- You should avoid squeezing the penis while ejaculating, to prevent the flow of semen. Else, this can damage the nerves and blood vessels in the penis, and will also force the semen into the urinary bladder.
That which can be harmful to you should be abstained from,dont you think?
Some reasons why some emgage in masturbation;
They believe that Masturbation is a part of healthy sex life, so they believes that;
- For men, masturbation may help prevent prostate cancer. Toxins build up naturally in the urogenital tract. Men who ejaculate over five times per week decrease these toxin levels. This significantly lowers their risk of prostate cancer.
- When men ejaculate, a little cortisol gets released, which is the stress hormone. This boosts their immune system.
- Masturbation can release stress and tension from the body by flooding the system with endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body and can lead to sound sleep.
- With age men naturally lose muscle tone even in the penis. Masturbation or regular sex in a way exercises the pelvic floor muscles and prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence.
- Masturbating releases feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin that lifts your spirits, boosts your satisfaction, and activates the reward circuits in your brain.
Masturbation can be addictive with attendant Side effects;
Addiction to masturbation
Some people can and do develop an addiction to masturbation. You may be spending too much time masturbating if masturbation causes you to:
- skip your chores or daily activities
- miss work or school
- cancel plans with friends or family
- miss important social events
Addiction to masturbation can harm your relationships and other parts of your life. Masturbation may interrupt your work or studies, which can lower productivity.
It may hurt your frriendships, because you don’t spend as much time with your loved ones as you used to, or don’t pay attention to their needs.
If you’re worried you may have an addiction to masturbation, speak with your doctor or a counselor about ways to cut down on masturbating.
Talk therapy can help you manage your addiction. You could also cut down by replacing masturbation with other activities. Next time you have an urge to masturbate, try:
If you find yourself masturbating, you may want to divert the excessive energy in a more healthy way, such as :
- meditation
- listening to music
- joining dance classes
- following an exercise routine such as aerobics, running, cycling, swimming etc
- Focusing on your study
- Engage in volunteering services.
- Submit to service in the church.
- writing in a journal
- spending time with friends
- going for a walk
Excess of anything can be harmful. Masturbating excessively can cause:
- fatigue
- weakness
- early ejaculation
- may also inhibit sexual activities with your partner
- injury to the penis
- vision changes
- lower back pain
- testicular pain
- hair loss
If the tendency persists, you may want to consult a psychiatrist or a counsellor as it can also be related to mental stress.
You know you’re masturbating excessively when:
- it causes you significant distress.
- you are masturbating multiple times per day to escape from stress or realities of day to day life.
- you regularly injure yourself by rubbing aggressively.
- you hardly have time for your friends or family as you are too busy pleasuring yourself.
- you constantly feel lustful and fight the urge to pleasure yourself.
- you experience pain in your genitals.
What is the treatment of masturbation?
You immediately need to consult a general doctor, who may, in turn, refer you to a psychiatrist or a counselor.
At times, medication may also be suggested depending on your symptoms and generalBSCRIBE
Worthy of note; some people may feel guilty about masturbating or have issues with chronic masturbation.
Masturbation and guilt
Some people may feel guilty about masturbating because of cultural, spiritual, or religious beliefs.
Masturbation is neither wrong nor immoral, but you may still hear messages that self-pleasure is “dirty” and “shameful.”
HOW BEST TO HELP A TEEN; CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING
In all of the discussion around internet pornography there is very little said about masturbation.
What has Ron Powell got to say
I can understand why. It is something that none of us are comfortable talking about. Just writing the word makes me uncomfortable but I feel I need to break the silence for the sake of suffering Christian students.
Avoid the pleasure and the Power of Pornography
Part of the power of pornography is that it is a prelude to masturbation. It is this bond that makes it so addictive and so secretive. It is addictive because of the huge surge of brain chemicals associated with ejaculation or orgasm. It is so secretive because it is personal, private, and a taboo subject in families. It can be used as an escape, a way to deal with boredom, loneliness or anxiety, or sometimes a way to alleviate emotional pain.
How Common is This?
For teens, the lure of pornography and masturbation is even more treacherous because they are discovering their bodies and their emerging sexuality. A 2012 study 0f 14-17 year olds, by Robbins and others, found that “74% of the males and 48% of the females reported that they had masturbated at some point.”
What they teach in Some Health Classes
Health classes will tell teens that this is a normal part of development. In class it is recommended as a safe form of sexual release. The addictive nature of the habit when coupled with online images and videos is rarely discussed.
Christian Teens Experience Shame and Despair
Many teens do not see any shame in it but many Christian students feel shame and guilt about self-stimulation. They have heard about the warnings about lust. They have heard also that Jesus said that to look lustfully at a woman is equal to having sex with her.
In my ministry, I have spent 100’s of hours listening to young men tortured by guilt and shame over their inability to gain any control over this habit. Even with counselling their addiction only intensified. Like struggling in quicksand the harder they fought it the deeper they sank.
Is this what you want to dabble into as a person early in life?
Suffering in Secrecy and Silence; let us talk to teens.
Curiosity may get the better of Christian teens who look for answers and images online but experience guilt and isolation. They are unable to share the new thoughts and feelings they are experiencing with their parents, teachers or pastors for fear of condemnation of punishment. Many Christian teens will suffer in secrecy and silence.
Considering the changes taking place in students’ bodies and the powerful influence of society then, parents, youth workers and youth ministries must be committed to helping students develop a healthy, godly sexuality. This involves breaking the awkward silence that surrounds masturbation.
Oddly, the Bible seems silent about it as well…
The Bible is Silent about Masturbation but Talks About Lust
Strangely, although the Bible discusses every form of sexuality, this subject is not mentioned. This is odd considering that almost all males will have masturbated at least once during their adolescence and many will masturbate regularly into their adult life.
Some well-meaning Christian authors or youth speakers will try to connect masturbation with the sin of Onan described in Genesis 38:9 which says,
But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his(dead) brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.
Clearly this is not a biblical injunction against masturbation. The sin of Onan was not fulfilling his duties as a kinsman redeemer for his deceased brother.
But while Jesus didn’t mention masturbation he did forbid lusting after anyone who is not your spouse. The moral difficulty with masturbation is that it is always accompanied by fantasy.
God is concerned with wrong desires which go contrary to his pattern for intimacy in marriage. He cares about the focus of our desire.
If your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit of God, keep it fre from acts that brings faults ans a sense of filth lusted the eye, lift of the flesh ans the pride of life should be avoided.
Break the Silence with Acceptance and Grace
There are negative responses to masturbation. After speaking at a conference workshop one mother waited to speak with me( Ron Powell) . She said it was such a problem for her son that she had her husband take the boys bedroom door the basement. This to me didn’t seem helpful or effective.
Dad’s should talk openly with their sons in early adolescence letting them know that this may happen and if it does they can talk to them about it. Mom’s should also talk to their girls at an age when they feel it is appropriate. .
As I have worked with counselling college students it was the ones that made this habit a matter of their salvation and thought about fighting it all of the time that were most controlled by it- Ron Powell
What Works and What Doesn’t
Students who invested their energy in sports, social action, healthy friendships, and church life gained greater and greater control. They also lived with a deep acceptance of God’s grace. They reminded themselves that they were saved by grace and not by their victory over their habit of masturbation.
Those who were unable or unwilling to make a complete break with pornography were worst off. They lived in a downward spiral of abstinence for short periods followed by binges of pornography and giving in to masturbation. This was followed by self-loathing, intense guilt, and shortly after, another pornography binge.
If you have to…
One parent who was too embarrassed to discuss sexuality with his son placed a copy of James Dobson’s “Preparing for Adolescence” in his room. His son told me that when he discovered the book he immediately went to the sex chapter and read about masturbation. It set his mind at ease knowing that he would not go insane, blind or be condemned to an eternity in hell if he gave in to his urges.
A Final Word
. So few young people have anyone who they would trust with this secret.
I would hope that parents and youth workers would break the silence by developing relationships where teens are confident to reveal their secrets. Sharing with a trusted parent, counselor, or youth leader will give them hope when they feel hopelessly controlled by this habit.
https://rachelheldevans.com/1
https://www.practo.com/
https://www.healthline.com/
http://youthministryunleashed.com/talking-teens-secret-habit/
ronpowell
Ron Powell is the Adviser to the Director of the Youth Ministry Institute at Vanguard College. He has been involved in youth ministry for over 30 years. He continues to volunteer, write, teach, and speak to parents, leaders and teens. If you would like to contact him you can email ron.powell@vanguardcollege.com
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