Are you a parent?
I would like to first congratulate you for the rare privilege you've been given to help mould lives and empower the God's Heritage.
Particularly being a parent in this generation is a task that must be done with all that is within you with all modesty,caution,firmness and in loving manners; especially when those you are trying to raise are not in many ways understanding your plight and effort
To be a parent you are almost everything to the children; not just a parent but a role model, teacher, motivator,hero, companion, partner and above all friend and confidant.
The way we go about our parenting can be affected by our own background and upbringing and at the same time influenced by our education ,exposure and the factors affecting the style of living and orientation in the present generation.
Whatever styles we choose,we must always bear in mind the beneficiaries of such a style.
We ask ourselves the question; What goal do we have in mind for them ultimately and what should be the outcome that would make them grow to becoming responsible members of tje larger society?
Five Parenting Styles for a New Generation;
Gone are the days of describing parents as merely “strict” or “lenient.” Parenting styles now come with titles and definitions. Here we present to you five of the most talked-about ways of parenting. What kind of parent are you and where do you see yourself belonging?
Five Parenting Styles for a New Generation;
Gone are the days of describing parents as merely “strict” or “lenient.” Parenting styles now come with titles and definitions. Here we present to you five of the most talked-about ways of parenting. What kind of parent are you and where do you see yourself belonging?
Are there need for you to alter your style or modify such in order to positively affect the children? We have to make our choices right.
The rules for parenting are known to shift generation by generation. This in many ways brings about conflicts and misunderstanding between the parents and the the children. Here you hear as parents are being referred to as being 'old school' or backward and tagged as being archaic coming from the dinosaurs era.
“Not having a strong sense of who you are and how you want to parent can make you a little unsettled and be tagged as being crazy,” - Tracey Frost, CEO of Citibabes stated.
“Be as educated as you can and then make your own decisions [about your parenting style].”
Be ready to get help from experts as none is an island of knowledge own his or her own.
Here are five of the most common parenting styles that today’s moms and dads are applying to their families.
Remember that there are no hard and fast rules as to how you go about this; just choose a style to soothe you and where need be, you may need to blend one or two together,perhaps even outright, jettison your method and adopt new ways completely.
Whatever your choice, be guided by what you are emvissioning and envisaging to have in your child as an end result.
1. Instinctive Parenting;
This might be called the “old school” method of parenting, “intuition” or simply a feeling of “go with your guts" As Africans this is more noticed with us. How we were brought up play a major role in modelling our own styles of parenting.
... “very much your own personal style of parenting, usually influenced by your own upbringing.” In other words, as an instinctive parent you’re more likely to teach what you know and parent the way you were parented, whether you were brought up by your mother and father, siblings or another caregiver.
The problem with this would be issues that can arise as a result of generational differences which thus bring conflict of interest between parent and the children.
2. Attachment Parenting
In attachment parenting, the goal is for parent and child to form a strong emotional bond. The people who adopt this parenting style strive to promptly respond to their child’s needs and be sensitive and emotionally available for their child at all times.
The belief is that strong attachment to the parent helps the child become a more secure, empathic, peaceful human being. Fans of attachment parenting often believe in natural childbirth, a family bed, avoidance of corporal punishment, homeschooling and may be part of the anti-vaccination movement.
This isn't a common scene with us as Africans as we love to be respected and be seen as being strong. Getting emotionally attached won't be our style but recently we have been seeing this being displayed by the new generation parents and we call such children as being "attached to their parents' approve strings"
Such parents end up being their children friends and confidants but often make the children to be a little too dependent on them and may not be ready to face the real world other than the one they already knew.
3. Helicopter parenting; The over protective parents
“Helicopter parents constantly interact with and often interfere with their children’s lives. They hover like a helicopter,” While helicopter parenting is fairly normal to ensure the safety and security of babies and very young children, be forewarned — smothering your child in every aspect of their life can ultimately backfire.
This style also doesn't give room to the children to explore other possibilities in life other than that which have been godmaticaly bestowed on them by parents.
“Too much of this style of parenting and children can become dependent on their parents’ money, time and advice past their college years and into their professional careers,”.
Children that grew up under such a style even as parents themselves still need to fall back on their own parents to help with virtually everything later in life including how to raise their own children.
4. Authoritative Parenting;
These are seen by most children as being toxic in there approach and they are seen as being authocratic to the extreme. These are the none yielding and never bulging to change parents
“You live under my roof, you follow my rules!” It’s a cliché, but one that parents may often find themselves speaking — and it probably most closely mimics the authoritative parenting style.
The parents who fit into this category typically establish rules and guidelines and expect their children to follow them, but the methodology is a bit more democratic than “what I say goes.” The democratic parents are the other side of authocratic ones.
For children who fail to meet the authoritative parent’s expectations, democratic parent is more nurturing, forgiving and responsive. Their idea of discipline is to be assertive but not restrictive, to support rather than punish. They leave you to have your say in matters which affect you as a child.
Authocratics can breed tyrants and hard core individuals who hardly show emotions and never care about how others feel. Authocrates engage in corporal punishment while the democrates also do but with a bit of reinforcement and options.
Many a time, as Africans we engage in this and in a way helps us to bring them up morally sound and law abiding even though there are few that have rebelled and turned out to be terrors to the society.
6. Permissive Parenting
It’s a child’s world for permissive parents, sometimes referred to as nontraditional, indulgent parents. These are the lessafare parents.
The parents using this style have very few demands to make of their children and rarely discipline them because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control,” says our expert (Frost)
Living children to grow submitting to every wimps and caprice of theirs help no one.
It destroys lives as the children grow thinking life is all about being free to do whatever they feel. Such children end up flaunting all rules of society and infringe on everybody's rights
If at any point the word “lenient” comes back into play, it’s for this type of parent. The permissive parenting style is often evidenced by individuals who try to be more friend than parent, avoid confrontation and are generally nurturing and communicative to a fault.
Children can not be left to make all decisions on their own as they need guidiance and leadership. They need instruction and counsel that would aid their best choices .
Whatever group or style you find yourself, let bear in mind that we should be accountable and be ready to take responsibility. May God help our parenting and make us happy ultimately.
Adeniji A. B
Citadel Project
Appreciation to ;
sheknows.com
For the expert ideas
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