In my few years as both a teacher and counsellor to secondary school student, I have had encounters with girls who had fallen victim to sexual assaults from people they know and trusted and even from guardians and total strangers.
Some were assaulted back in primary school and are now facing the adverse effects of the heinous acts inflicted on them some few years back now that they are in their teen ages. They have had no one to believe their stories nor found ways of helping them out of the debilitating effects of the inhuman act which had traumatised them over the years.
Most of the parents that could have either prevented them from falling victims or that would have helped them out seems themselves handicapped by lack of will or the know how.
We shall be using this posts to help in a little way towards giving information and enlightening parents and caregivers as to ways of helping the teens out.
INTRODUCTION;
Rape, sometimes also called sexual assault, can happen to both men and women of any age. The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) defines rape as:
"The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
Rape is forced and unwanted. It's about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.
No matter how it happened, rape is upsetting. People who have been raped need care, comfort, and a way to heal
You may or may not have become familiar with the phrase "rape culture." Rape culture is the idea that American society has created and encouraged certain social norms that perpetuate beliefs, values, or attitudes that may result in sexual assault. This has come down home to us here in Africa.
It seems its is now an everyday affair to hear a report or two being made on the news and these seem to be going on unabated.
TEEN VICTIMS AND WHAT PARENTS SHOULD NOTE;
When it comes to teenagers, many parents are aware of the dangers their daughters face regarding potential sexual assault.
The reality is that young women and young men can both be victims of sexual assault or abuse at the hands of family members, teachers, coaches, clergymen, friends, and dates. It is so prevalent that the actual rates of teenage victimization would guarantee that a parent never slept another night of their child's teen years.
PREVENTIVE METHODS TO IMBIBE;
"I will call on every Nigerian that comes across any victim of sexual offences, rape or gender-based violence to quickly report to law enforcement agents because keeping quiet without reporting it will give room for the perpetrators to continue to commit the offences," - Nigeria Inspector Genral of police -Mohammed Adamu
Rape is forced and unwanted. It's about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.
No matter how it happened, rape is upsetting. People who have been raped need care, comfort, and a way to heal
You may or may not have become familiar with the phrase "rape culture." Rape culture is the idea that American society has created and encouraged certain social norms that perpetuate beliefs, values, or attitudes that may result in sexual assault. This has come down home to us here in Africa.
It seems its is now an everyday affair to hear a report or two being made on the news and these seem to be going on unabated.
TEEN VICTIMS AND WHAT PARENTS SHOULD NOTE;
When it comes to teenagers, many parents are aware of the dangers their daughters face regarding potential sexual assault.
The reality is that young women and young men can both be victims of sexual assault or abuse at the hands of family members, teachers, coaches, clergymen, friends, and dates. It is so prevalent that the actual rates of teenage victimization would guarantee that a parent never slept another night of their child's teen years.
PREVENTIVE METHODS TO IMBIBE;
Although there is no guaranteed safety, there are things that your teenager can do to help minimize the likelihood that they could become a victim.
- • Staying in groups of twos or threes, especially when going to or coming back from school and social events.
- • Abstaining from alcohol and or drug use; as boring as it may sound to your teen, can help.
- • If they have to drink any thing at all in social gatherings, they should never leave their drinks alone or take a drink someone hands them as it could have been laced with drugs.
- • More than anything let your kids know that they should trust their instincts. Not all kids are very intuitive, but those that are should trust their intuition and respond appropriately when they feel uncertain about a situation. For a Christian child who knows the work of the Holu Sporit, this may not be a strange phenomenon or step to take.
- • The world is kind of loose today when it comes to style of dressing and in many ways nidity which is being promoted freely should not be what our children should engage in. So let's ensure that we do not encourage careless dressing by our teens/children.
All of these tips aside, the person responsible for a sexual assault is always the person who does the assault. Regardless of their choices, many of which you may not agree with, your child is never responsible for having been victimized
WHAT DOES THE LAW REQUIRE YOU TO DO?
Unforntunatley because of the stigmatization that goes with rape and sexual assault and what our society and culture expects many victims would rather not waht to make report of a case of rape.
Parents and care givers by extension are not helping in any ways, as their reactions do not help help in many cases.
If your child tells you (or someone else) that they have been victimized, believe them and support them 100-percent. Be aware that law in most states requires reporting the sexual assault of a child, by anyone with knowledge of the incident.
For professionals that work with children, such as teachers and school administration, doctors and nurses, counselors, and so on, it is also a federal crime not to report the sexual assault of a child.
NEW FLASH ON RAPE IN NIGERIA,
The realitieabwe now face in the issue of rape.
The Nigerian police recorded 717 rape cases between January and May,
The Inspector-General of Police, Mohammed Adamu, said this to State House Correspondents after meeting with President Muhammadu Buhari at the State House in Abuja.
Mr Adamu said 799 suspects have so far been arrested while 631 cases have been conclusively investigated and charged to court. He said 52 cases are still being investigated.
The police chief called on Nigerians to join in efforts to tackle rape and other sexual violence by ensuring prompt report of cases and working with the police to apprehend the suspects.- Curled from Premium Time 18th June,2020
Your child may not want to press charges or report the incident; but as a parent, you have to assume the responsibility of making the report although your child may hate you for it. It is then your ongoing responsibility to provide your child with all of the emotional support necessary to handle the reporting and prosecution of the case.
WHAT SHOUKD BE DONE IN A CASE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT?
Parents and teens need to ask;
What Should I Do?
What's the right thing to do if rape has occurred?
As a parents , teacher or caregiver, you need to help the victim after you've gotten the information. Let the victim of the teen realise this;
Tell him or her; Take care of yourself in the best way for you ( for the parent of a teen , know that this Is your first priority to care for such) . For some people, that means reporting the crime immediately and fighting to see the rapist brought to justice.
For others it means seeking medical or emotional care without reporting the rape as a crime. Every person is different.
There are three things that everyone who has been raped should do, though:
1. Know that the rape wasn't your fault.It's Not Your Fault
- Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. No one has the right to have sex with you against your will. The blame for a rape lies solely with the rapist Most people who are raped know their rapists. That can sometimes lead the person who's been raped to try to protect the perpetrator. Make protecting yourself your priority. Don't worry about protecting the person who raped you.
- If you want to report the crime to the police, do so. Reporting a rape may help protect others from that person — and may help you feel a little less like you were a victim.
- Seek medical care.The first thing someone who has been raped needs to do is see a medical doctor. Most medical centers and hospital emergency departments have doctors and counselors who have been trained to take care of someone who has been raped.
- It's important to get medical care because a doctor will need to check you for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and internal injuries.You should get medical attention right away without changing your clothes, showering, douching, or washing. It can be hard not to clean up, of course — it's a natural human instinct to wash away all traces of a sexual assault. But being examined right away is the best way to ensure you get proper medical treatment.
Even if you don't get examined right away, it doesn't mean you can't get a checkup later. It's always best to see a doctor immediately after a rape, of course. But a person can still go to a doctor or local clinic to get checked out for STDs, pregnancy, or injuries any time after being raped. In some cases, doctors can even gather evidence several days after a rape has occurred
LET THE TEEN/VICTIM KNOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF MEDICAL EXAMINATIONS;
A medical professional will test you for STDs, including HIV/AIDS. These tests may involve taking blood or saliva samples. Although the thought of getting an STD after a rape is extremely scary, the quicker a person finds out about any infection, the more effectively he or she can be treated.
- • If you're female, a medical professional may treat you to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, if you wish.
- • A medical professional will examine you internally to check for any injury that might have been caused by the rape.
- • A medical professional or trained technician may look for and take samples of the rapist's hair, skin, nails, or bodily fluids from your clothes or body.
-
• If you think you've been given a rape drug, a doctor or technician can test for this, too. Be aware that this toxicology test covers any and all illegal drugs.
1. Deal with your feelings.
Rape isn't just physically damaging, it can be emotionally traumatic as well. The right emotional attention, care, and support can help a person begin the healing process and prevent lingering problems later on.
Someone who has been raped might feel a lot of things: angry, degraded, frightened, numb, or confused. It's also normal for someone who has been raped to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Some people withdraw from friends and family. Others don't want to be alone. Some feel depressed, anxious, or nervous.
Someone who has been raped might feel a lot of things: angry, degraded, frightened, numb, or confused. It's also normal for someone who has been raped to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Some people withdraw from friends and family. Others don't want to be alone. Some feel depressed, anxious, or nervous.
Every rape survivor works through his or her feelings differently. Some people feel most comfortable talking one-on-one with a therapist. Others find that joining a support group where they can be with other survivors helps them to feel better, get their power back, and move on with their lives. In a support group, you can get help and support as well as give it. Your experiences and ideas may help others heal.
Pleaae Supporting a Child
As the parent of a child who has been sexually assaulted, you play a critical role in the healing process. Some parents may feel responsible in some way for the abuse; you may feel that somehow you should have known about the abuse or should have been able to stop the abuse.
Please know that it is not your fault. Educating yourself and examining your own emotions (anger, guilt, powerlessness, and fear) are steps you can take to more effectively support your child and yourself. The impact of trauma on children is determined, in large part, by how adults in the child’s world respond to the child’s disclosure of assault. The adults’ response can have as much or more impact on the child as the traumatic event itself.
References for further read ans help;
https://kidshealth.org/?WT.ac=t-bc
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
https://www.universalclass.com/index.htm
https://thercc.org/get-support/supporting-loved-one/supporting-child-sexually-assaulted/
Premium Times
Support Centre;you can contact
LAGOS STATE DOMESTIC SEXUAL AND VIOLENCE RESPONSE TEAM
DSVRT is a collection of professional service providers and officials that respond as a group and in a timely fashion to the various needs of domestic and sexual violence survivors by providing legal, medical, emergency assistance, Counselling and psychological and psycho social support...
CONTACT US
info@dsvrtlagos.org
112, 08137960048
Head Office DSVRT,
Secretariat, Alausa,Ikeja.
LAGOS STATE DOMESTIC SEXUAL AND VIOLENCE RESPONSE TEAM
DSVRT is a collection of professional service providers and officials that respond as a group and in a timely fashion to the various needs of domestic and sexual violence survivors by providing legal, medical, emergency assistance, Counselling and psychological and psycho social support...
CONTACT US
info@dsvrtlagos.org
112, 08137960048
Head Office DSVRT,
Secretariat, Alausa,Ikeja.
Or
HDI Office
Human Development Initiatives (HDI)
Child Rights Education Centre.
Grace House, 2, Iwaya Road, Onike, Lagos, Nigeria.
Postal Address:. P. O. Box 1642, Sabo, Yaba, Lagos, Nigeria
Telephone: 01-4535717
Child Help-line: 0808-0551-376
Email: info@hdinigeria.org, hdi4nigeria@gmail.com
Website: www.hdinigeria.org
Facebook: facebook.com/hdinigeria
GET IN TOUCH
0 Comments